My dear friend Charity Kountz has been going through a rough time lately dealing with the breakup of her marriage and all the myriad problems that can go along with such an event. She posted the following sign on Facebook.
I agree with her point, that it’s okay to walk alone and that it’s better to be alone than with an unloving spouse or significant other. We’ve all had people in our lives at one time or another who did nothing but drag us down. Such relationships are poison, and we need to escape from them as quickly as possible.
After reading it, I posted the following comment: “Buddha would not understand, but Jesus is willing to be your husband and companion. Buddha had to walk alone, but you don’t, Charity.”
Charity knows me well enough to know that my intentions were good, but after reading her reply to my comment, I saw that my comment could be taken as putting her down for posting the quote in the first place. Such was definitely not my intention, but it made me realize I have a tendency to speak too quickly at times, and I think a lot of Christians may share that fault with me.
My intention was to remind her that she was not alone—that Jesus was always with her and that she could count on Him for comfort and companionship. That’s absolutely true, but stating it as I did may have hurt more than it helped.
What have you said or done recently with the best of intentions that may have hurt the person you were trying to help?
If you abide in Me and My word abides in you, then you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.
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Hi David. there is no way I can answer your question in a blog space. it would require the equivalent of a Russian novel to recount how many times I should have chosen my words more carefully. Fortunately I make that particular mistake less often now then I did when I was 17.
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So true for all of us, Jay, but perhaps more crucial for a man in your position.
Oh yes, I know that we have all said things too quickly that hurt someone though we did not intend that. Good post, good point. Fortunately, the older I get, the more I seem to think before opening my mouth. Maybe I’m finally learning ….
Hopefully, I do, too, Sis. I wonder sometimes.
Oh David, my dear friend, you have nothing to apologize for. We have been good friends for long enough that there is no need to censor yourself. I hope my reply didn’t seem defensive, I simply wanted you to understand what made me post it. Great blog post though. I love how your blog is so regularly inspired by those around you.
Thanks, Charity. You frequently inspire me.
I know you count Charity as a dear friend and would never intentionally hurt or slight her. The mouth can indeed be a deadly weapon, and I have to really think hard at times about holding my tongue or pen because you can’t take back what’s spilled out.
Thanks, Sharon. You’re right. You can never unsay anything.