We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.
As you probably already know, the beautiful and intelligent August McLaughlin runs an annual blogfest at her site called the Beauty of a Woman Blogfest.
This is the second year August has run this blogfest, but it’s my first year to join in the fun and honor the fairer sex. I hope I can do them justice.
A lot of men seem to think that a woman’s beauty lies only in her physical appearance. By the same token, a lot of women seem to think physical beauty is a detrimental quality in a woman.
Fortunately, in my observations, the ranks of both of these categories seems to be shrinking. More and more men seem to realize that a woman’s physical appearance is only one part of her value, and women seem to be getting more comfortable with the idea that they can be physically beautiful without detracting from their value.
In my youth, I think I tended to value women based on how pretty I thought they were. I don’t know if that was just me or if I was a reflection of the era in which I was born. Back in the 1950s, women pretty much worked as secretaries or schoolteachers or waitresses. A woman could have an IQ of 150, but there were few opportunities for careers beyond these.
The world has changed since then, and I’m glad it has. There are no jobs closed to women today. There may be individual bosses who hold back women for one reason or another, but basically any job that’s open to a man is open to a woman also.
As long as men are born with penises and woman with vaginas, physical beauty will have a place in the estimation of one gender for the other, and I see nothing wrong with that. However, that should by no means be the whole agenda. Even the most active couples aren’t likely to spend more than an hour or so a day in sexual activities. There had better be some basis for communication, esteem and affection for the other hours of the day.
When I began dating my wife, I was drawn by her physical appearance, but I fell in love with her because I began to see her mind and character and personality. In the long run, these latter things are more important than the first.
I closely follow the Ladies Professional Golf Association. The PGA bores me. The Champions Tour holds some appeal. But it’s the LPGA that really interests me.
Is that because all the women on the tour are raving beauties? No. They come in all sizes and shapes. Annika Sorenstam and Lorena Ochoa were two of the best and most popular female golfers in recent memory. Both were reasonably attractive women, but you wouldn’t call either of them a beauty. Their popularity derived from their abilities on the golf course and from the character and personality they showed off the course.
My personal favorite is Paula Creamer. I think she’s cute, but I wouldn’t rate her as a beauty. She’s not the best golfer out their either, although I keep pulling for her to get to number one. What I like about Paula is that she’s got a wonderful personality and that she is always very appreciative of what she has, both the winnings and the love she gets from the fans.
Closer to home, I’ve come to respect and appreciate females among my fellow writers. They seem to outnumber us guys about 10 to 1, and that derives from their abilities, not their looks. I consider many female writers to be friends, even though I haven’t met many of them. One of my closest writer friends sells thousands of books and travels all over to book signings and such, while I sell a few books now and then, but she never looks down her nose at me. She always talks to me as an equal.
Do I understand women? No! And any man who claims to is either a liar or a fool. However, I don’t have to understand you ladies in order to appreciate you. I can even appreciate the odd little things that seem irrational to me. I’m glad you are motivated more by your hearts than by your minds, and I don’t discount your minds one iota as I make that statement. Many of you have great minds, but it’s your hearts that make you so dear to me.
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For more information about David N. Walker, click the “About” tab above.
For more information about his books, click on “Books” above.
Contact him at dnwalkertx (at) gmail (dot) com or tweet him at @davidnwalkertx.
David N Walker 
I absolutely love this, David! It’s true that we respond to each based on looks at times, and that’s okay as long as it’s not everything. I was drawn to my husband of 20 years in part because he was (and is) physically attractive to me. But then I got to know his heart and his mind and his laugh, and all of those things made him that much more appealing. So now, when our bodies have started to change with age a bit, we still have plenty to appreciate with each other. Thanks for your post!
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Aw, you are such a sweetie, David! What a great post!
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Thanks, Kassandra.
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What a lovely tribute to what makes a woman beautiful – their substance. I so appreciate the male perspectives in the BOAW BlogFest. Thank you for your candid, thoughtful post.
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Thanks, Ellen.
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David, why am I not surprised to discover you here in the BOAW Blogfest? Being of the same vintage, I understand your comments about attitudes back in the 50’s ~ aren’t we glad the times have changed! You are always so supportive and encouraging and, above and beyond everything else, a fine gentleman. I hope one day we meet in person!
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Thanks, Pat. I hope so, too. When are we going to work that out? Maybe to need to come to DFW Conference in May.
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Heck, David, I don’t always understand women myself, and I am one. Nicely done.
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Thanks, Kim. If this is your first visit to my site, I hope you come back.
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Thanks for sharing, David. Your comment “There had better be some basis for communication, esteem and affection for the other hours of the day” hit right at home. My husband and I talk for hours sometimes and it’s these moments that really hold us together. =)
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Right, Jennifer. That’s the mortar that holds the wall together. Thanks for commenting.
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David what a warm, authentic post. I enjoyed reading your insights. And the truth is, men and women struggle to understand each other but never, quite get there. That can be part of the fun.
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Thanks, Sabrina. I don’t think any of us even fully understand outselves.
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One has to have a respect and understanding for women in order to put up with all of us at DFWCon, right?
I loved hearing about how you came to appreciate your wife more and more, David. Sharon’s a lucky lady!
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Thanks, Jess. Look forward to seeing you again in May.
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Thanks for this honest, insightful post, David! I’ve found a heck of a lot of beauty in writer-ville, too, in both genders. I’m thrilled to have you in the fest. 🙂
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Thanks, August. Glad to be a part of it.
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Such a great theme, I see August’s blogfest is really making the rounds, everywhere I turn, another writer is taking part. Fabulous!
I wouldn’t be too hard on your youthful assessments, David. Opinions of youth always need a little leeway.
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Right, Sherry. Might even be a few other things I’d rather not mention from my youth.
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Aw, you’re so sweet, David! A man’s love definitely makes a woman more beautiful, so I can only imagine how stunning your wife must be.
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And that goes both ways, Tameri. Thanks.
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Thank you, husband, for your compliment. I agree that a woman’s heart is most important. In the many years that I have known you, I have come to realize how greatly you value women. And with you, to look to your heart is to see the love and kindness within you.
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Thanks, Sharon. That heart is one of the things I’ve always loved about you.
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This is a sweet post for your blog, David. And I agree with Renee that you try hard to understand and have such respect and love and interest in many women as people. And the hearts … yes, so important. She I mention doggies and kitties? LOL
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No pets, Barb. Just women.
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We aren’t so very hard to understand, David. But honestly, the best thing about you is that you try. And you have such love and respect for so many women! This is a beautiful testament to how much you appreciate inner and outer beauty.
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Thanks, Renee, and I consider you a prime example of both.
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